If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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