he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
