I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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