Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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