Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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