He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
