Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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