I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
