And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
