Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I looked at my own cervix.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
