Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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