At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
