if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
