watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
