I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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