Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Come share oat with me in your robe
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
