Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
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