Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
