im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
