Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
