TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
