She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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