Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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