hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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