Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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