Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize