I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
