I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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