You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
