Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
