I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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