walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
