good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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