drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this just has baby written all over it
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
