So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
