put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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