..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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