i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
