haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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