So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
foreskin is a definite game changer
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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