I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
