you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
