Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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