I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
