Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
