Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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