he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
