peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
