i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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