I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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