i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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