So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
