I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
