Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
