I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
