I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
