He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You are a booty call, not a friend.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
