You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize