So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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