You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
