I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
