hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
