She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
