i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Semen is not good for contacts.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Drunk is a universal language darling
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
