Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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