it hurts more in the daytime
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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